


Mr. Chloe Decker

by Wynele



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angels need sex ed, Chloe is in the loop, Established Relationship, F/M, Lollipops, One Shot, One Shot Collection, PG13 sex, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy, one shot series, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 05:34:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13968456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wynele/pseuds/Wynele
Summary: Chloe decides to spend a few more hours in denial before telling Lucifer the truth.





	Mr. Chloe Decker

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally supposed to be part two, but Nuclear Cupcakes wanted to be written first. I should really work on my WIP, but this is fun.

Denial, of course, was Chloe’s second favorite emotion.

It didn’t matter what Dan thought or what the test read or Ella’s bent-kneed penguin walk implied. Nor did it matter what Raziel, God’s own confidant, had to say on the subject. She wasn’t pregnant until the doctor said she was.

It was silly, really. She knew deep down, she, a miracle herself, bore another within her. Then again, she considered, it did take her almost two years to discover the truth about Lucifer. She couldn’t even rightly say she discovered the truth. Especially not with all the evidence staring and sometimes smacking her in the face.

Even so, evidence that cannot be replicated resulted in being knocked up by the devil—or something. Science was never her strong suit.

Now, on her only day off until who knows when, she sat in her doctor’s examination room. The nurse bustled into the room to take her height, weight, and blood pressure. She hurried out as quick as she came with a promise that the doctor would see her soon.

Her phone buzzed in the meantime and she looked down to find two new messages. One from Lucifer and another from Trixie. She knew they were together when their text messages came in pairs. Lucifer was going to Lux for the evening, while Trixie was going to spend the night with her dad. She spent a few seconds thinking of a reply, but in the end, settled with a simple “ok.”    

She considered asking Lucifer if he wanted her to come on over, but already she knew the answer. Instead, she settled down on the too high table, her legs dangling off the sides, and waited for the doctor to arrive.

She didn’t have to wait long. Moments later he strolled in and snatched her lab results from the file holder on the door. Or rather, he tried to. A strange feeling shifted through the air, like someone pulling on a rubber band, and everything around her stopped. Not stopped, she realized as watched the doctor’s hand inch minutely toward the file, but rather slowed until it barely moved.

“Interesting,” Raziel said as she materialized into the room. Her tone was nonchalant as if she were admiring a particularly interesting painting and not stopping time itself. “It seems little Sophia is immune to chronokinesis.”

Chloe gasped and shook her head. Of all the supernatural things she had encountered since meeting Lucifer, this left her the most rattled. “What?

“The ability to manipulate time,” she informed with an almost clinical detachment. “I theorized that Sophia might be able to manifest some of her more passive abilities within the womb, so I cast a simple incantation.”

“Incantation? You mean magic?” Chloe questioned with her best “get real” stare, but then her voice grew high hitched and almost shrill. “There’s magic now?”

“There has always been magic,” the angel said simply, “Though less so now on the mortal plane since so few believe. But never mind that. I have an update.”

Chloe hugged herself around the middle. “Is it the baby?”

“What? No, no.  There won’t be any update on the baby for weeks, months even. No, this is about me.”

Raziel plucked the file from the door and then plopped down in a nearby chair. She scooted forward, rolling and wheeling herself until she was inches from the table.  “It seems I’m straight.”

“What?” Chloe more mouthed than said, wondering, ever so briefly, if strangling an angel would land her in hell. “Raziel, I—”

“It’s more a hypothesis, really, given the limited data and small sample size,” Raziel began, perplexed, but sounding very much as if she were about to give a lecture. “As you are aware, I wasn’t having any luck with the males of your species. So, I decided to change my tactics and try the females.”  
  
Mentally, Chloe counted to ten, reminded not-quite fondly of her early days with Lucifer. She rolled her eyes skyward to glare at the ceiling. _Would it have killed you to give your kids sex-ed?_

“As per usual, my first few attempts were abysmal failures, but I finally found a young lady willing to take me back to her flat.”

Alarm bells went off in Chloe’s mind as both her cop and mother instincts kicked in. “Raziel, you can’t just go off with strangers. It’s not safe.”

Raziel sighed and dismissed Chloe’s concern with a flippant wave of her hand. “I’m immortal, invulnerable, indestructible, and a lot of other things that begin with I.”

Chloe bobbed her head, her entire frame moving with her nod. “Like irresponsible, itchy,” she offered, her nostril curling slight with her mock seriousness, and “annoying.”

“I am not itchy!” she declared, sitting up straight and proper in the chair, one long leg crossed over her knee. She flipped open the file, skimming it before looking up at Chloe. “Huh, you’re heavier than you look.”

“And annoying doesn’t start with an I,” Chloe added before Raziel could go off on a language tangent. They’d had one a few weeks ago during a particularly heated match of Scrabble. Who would have thought that a trio of angels and a demon had to be told that full-contact Scrabble was not a thing?

“It does in Norwegian, so I thought I’d give you a pass,” she said idly and pushed off the floor with her feet, sending the chair rolling backward. “What were we talking about? Oh, right. Me.”

The angel scooted closer to the doctor, still mired in her spell, and stuck her hand into his coat pocket. She fished around for a moment and pulled out his car keys which she promptly tossed to the floor. Undeterred, she reached around the doctor's back and stuck her hand into his other pocket. After a moment of groping blindly, she made a delighted sound and pulled out a lollipop.

“What are you doing?” Chloe chastised, resisting the urge to leap from the table. “You can’t use your timey wimey magic to go through people’s pockets.”

Raziel made a face full of incredulity and plopped the lollipop into her mouth. When she next spoke, her voice was garbled. “Of course, I can. That’s half the point.”

She shrugged and leaned forward to investigate the doctor’s pocket rather than simply filch. A quizzical look fell over her face and she looked back at Chloe before pocketing something from the doctor’s coat. “Weird, I had thought that Jolly Ranchers were just peculiarly happy farmers. Want one? He’s got grape.”

Chloe uttered an exasperated sigh and leaned forward, balancing with her hands on her thighs. “No!”

Lollipop planted firmly in her mouth, the angel shrugged as if to say _suit yourself_ and returned the doctor’s keys to his pocket. “So, back to the girl. She kissed me.”

“And?” Chloe prompted, deciding it was best to get it over and done. Raziel would keep edging it into the conversation otherwise.

Raziel sighed, wilting just slightly, and rolled back to Chloe. “And nothing. Before it could progress any further, Maze burst through the door and put the poor woman in a headlock.”

The statement hung in the air for several seconds before Chloe offered the only explanation she could think of. “Was the woman a bounty?”

The angel nodded sagely, the lollipop dangling from the corner of her mouth like a cigarette. “Turns out she was the Santa Barbara Baker. She baked her victims alive or something. Anyway, not important. What’s important is that after Maze finished hog-tying our murderous baker, she kissed me and felt my breasts. Which was nice, but kind of weird.” She shrugged again. “So, I’m either straight or not attracted to demons.”

Chloe tried to speak, but only managed a hoarse near silent rasp. Once again, she glared up at the ceiling, but this time mouthed a “Why?”

She exhaled, causing a small puff of air to lift the hair around her face, and peered down at Raziel. Even with the lollipop sticking out of her mouth, the angel managed a strange sort of otherworldly grace. The Keeper of Secrets was patented proof that one could know everything, and yet, still be utterly naïve.

“You do realize,” Chloe began in the _Mom_ voice Trixie had long since outgrown. “If it weren’t for Maze, you’d be in someone’s crockpot right now?”

“Industrial sized pizza oven actually,” Raziel corrected with a small shrug, puzzled when Chloe threw up her hands and fell back against the table. “But not to worry. My status as a non-itchy angel would have spared me from any crockery related deaths.”  
  
Chloe sighed up at the ceiling and stared hard at a fluorescent bulb caught in mid flicker. For a moment, she wondered which part of Raziel’s ludicrous situation she should explain first. Neither seemed the best course, at least for now. She sat back up, the movement making her head spin and jostling her barely settled stomach. “I haven’t told Lucifer or Trixie yet.”

She looked pleadingly at the angel who said nothing but somehow managed to look thoughtful while licking a lollipop. Still, she supposed, it was nice to have someone listen.

“Lucifer denies it, but he and Trixie are so close,” Chloe half-babbled, twisting at her hands. “She’s told him things that she’s never told me, and I don’t want that to change.”

“Believe it or not,” Raziel said after giving the lollipop one last hard suck and tossing it into the trash. “I do understand your concern. A baby once ripped my family apart.”

“What baby?”

Raziel chuckled softly, almost darkly, and licked her sticky fingers. There were times where the angel could almost be considered creepy, and this was quickly becoming one of those times.

“Humanity,” she informed, removing her pinky finger from her mouth with a pop. “Not your fault, of course. Especially not yours as Father altered his entire plan to just create you. Which he wouldn’t have needed to do if he would’ve just… Ah, no matter. Needless to say, I can ramble on for hours about the subject. Which, normally I’d be more than happy to do, but my spell ends in a few.”

“You’re talking about the rebellion,” Chloe replied a bit too quickly, filing the rest of what Raziel said for later. Much like her brother, Raziel hid her deeper issues beneath over the top antics and general silliness. She had dismissed Lucifer for it once, almost to his peril, and since vowed never again. “Lucifer mentioned that your Mom and Dad sent you away before the fighting broke out.”

The angel rose from the stool and placed the lab results back into the folder on the door. She could feel her incantation faltering and needed to be gone before that happened. “It was more Amenadiel’s idea, actually. Strange how father’s wishes so often coincide with Amenadiel’s desires. He claims now that he was trying to protect me and Lucifer. I don’t suppose it really matters now.”

“Of course, it does.”

Raziel shook her head, not understanding, or perhaps understanding too well. “I can forge worlds with my power. Amenadiel is no concern of mine.”

She pulled the second lollipop out of the doctor’s pocket. She offered it to Chloe, who refused, before ripping off the wrapper. “I tried to visit Lucifer while he was in hell,” she began, flicking her tongue over the lollipop. I managed to reach his palace before I was stopped by a gate.”

Chloe leaned forward, enraptured, but also concerned. Lucifer never mentioned being visited by his siblings while he was in hell. In fact, he seemed wholly convinced that he had been abandoned. “What happened?”

The angel plucked the lollipop out of her mouth to point at Chloe. It was sticky and wet from Raziel’s saliva and left a thin trail of purple drool on her chin. “I couldn’t open the gate. So I called out to him. I screamed, and I cried and beat at the bars until my hands were bloody, but nothing. He never came. Maybe he couldn't hear me. I don't know.”

Raziel’s eyes were far away as if she were replaying the memory in her mind. “It was Michael that found me and took me home. He cried while he bandaged my hands and made me promise to never go back.”

“My God,” Chloe breathed, tears sparkling in her eyes.

Raziel quirked a grin and pulled the lollipop out of her mouth.  “He comes in later.” Her smile faded, inch by inch, and her shoulder slumped just slightly. “But vows are Lucifer’s thing and the thought of him in that place. So, I went back over and over again, and he never answered. So, eventually, I just gave up.”

“I’m so sorry,” Chloe sniffed through her tears. “I can’t even imagine—”

“Me too. Sorry, I mean. I can actually imagine a lot,” Raziel murmured, pausing for a moment to tap the lollipop against her bottom teeth. “But that’s not even the worst part.”

Chloe looked at the floor, unable to answer. What could be worst than trying desperately to rescue a brother who couldn’t hear his rescuer? She watched Raziel’s feet move across the floor and stop right before her. Raziel slid a finger, still sticky from the lollipop, under Chloe’s chin and forced her to look up.

“The gate wasn’t locked. It had never been. It only stood between Lucifer and myself because I thought it did.”

The angel unfurled her wings, they looked almost metallic in the artificial light and gave Chloe the barest of side-hugs. Her spell was nearly faded now, down to its final gasps. “I also came to tell you that I have to go home for a few days. I’ll be able to come if you need me, though not as quickly as before.”

Then, she was gone, leaving nothing but the rustle of paper to suggest that she’d been there at all.

“Well, Chloe,” the Doctor said cheerfully, released from the spell. He snatched the folder from the door, then slid a hand into his pocket and frowned when he discovered its content amiss. “It seems you do, in fact, have a teeny, tiny parasite.”

Chloe gasped, startled as time began to flow normally. She wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her middle. “Is she okay?”

“She, huh? Well, you Moms seem to know things,” the Doctor teased, still reading over the lab report. “Everything looks good. I’m going to prescribe something for the morning sickness, and we’ll need to schedule an ultrasound.”

Hands still on her belly, Chloe nodded, but only half listened to the doctor. Her mind was on Raziel and the meaning behind her words. The baby would change things between Lucifer and Trixie but wouldn’t come between them. Not unless they let it.

Two hours later and no texts from Lucifer or Trixie, Chloe found herself at Lux. The club was mostly empty, save for a few staff and a woman in her late twenties camped out behind the bar. The woman pecked at her laptop, while sipping some undoubtedly overly complicated drink, and mumbling beneath her breath. She looked vaguely familiar, but Chloe couldn’t quite place where she’d seen her before.

“Boss is upstairs,” informed a glitter and, well, glitter-clad dancer, and jabbed her thumb toward the bar. “You’ll need the key from Phoebe.”

Chloe smiled uncomfortably and tried to look at anything but the dancers as she stumbled toward the bar. She frowned, wondering. When Lucifer said his door was always open, he meant it. It had never been locked in all the time she had known him. Something had to have happened. Had he found out somehow and was angry with her? They had a pact. No more secrets. And she was keeping something huge from him.

Taking a few quick steps, she found her way to the end of the bar where Phoebe was furiously tapping on her laptop. Beside her was a small, overflowing basket filled with looked to be invoices as well as several other questionable items. “Just put in the box. I’ll get to it in a sec.”

Phoebe didn’t look up, but instead snatched what looked to be an old receipt from the basket, skimmed it, and then shook her head. “Why would anyone even want one of those?” She reached for her drink and took a sip before slapping the receipt on the nearby spindle. “Illegal in Kansas, though.”

Chloe sucked in a breath and tried to angle herself just enough to see whatever the other woman was working on. But before she could get a good look, Phoebe reached up and closed the laptop.

“Oh, Detective Decker?” she greeted, slightly annoyed, but polite. “I didn’t realize it was you.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Chloe babbled, realizing she had been caught and hoping Phoebe was simply too nice to mention it. “You look like you’re in the middle of something.”

The other woman made a little noise that sounded distressingly like a whimper and blew out a tired breath. She reopened her laptop and snatched another receipt from the box before grudgingly getting back to work. “A lot of somethings.”

“They said I need a key to get into the penthouse?”

Phoebe nodded and bent forward to grope beneath the bar. After a moment, she produced a key fob and slid it towards Chloe. “There you go.”

Chloe scooped up the key and nodded her thanks as she began to walk away. She reached the steps before curiosity got the better of her. “Have you worked here for a while? I could swear I recognize you from somewhere.”

“From the pole probably,” Phoebe answered, not bothering to look up, and snatched another invoice from the basket. “I was a dancer here back in college. Lucifer hired me back after I passed the bar.”

“You’re a lawyer?”

“Indeed, I am, Detective,” Phoebe hummed, taking a sip of her drink. She picked up a pen from the bar and twirled it between her fingers before shoving it into the messy bun that was her hair. “My office is a few floors up.”

Chloe quirked a grin and shook her head, fighting off a laugh. “So, you’re the Devil’s advocate.”   

Phoebe groaned and shook her head as she reopened her laptop. “Lucifer is upstairs.”

Properly dismissed, Chloe realized she would get no more from Phoebe, so she bound up the stairs to the elevator.  As the elevator lurched toward the penthouse floor, a cold sweat washed over. Suddenly and inexplicably, her bladder felt full to bursting.  Pressing her knees together, she shifted back and forth on her feet, grateful that there was no one round to see her.

“You’re not even as big as a raisin, yet,” she fretted, mock scolding the child within her womb. “Be nice to Mommy.”

As if in response, Chloe was struck with a wave of nausea that sent her scrambling for the still closed doors the moment the elevator stopped.

Lucifer turned as the elevator pinged, only to be nearly knocked to the floor when the Detective burst through the doors. She ran into his bedroom, then before he could follow, into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

Baffled and somewhat hurt, he sat down at the piano began pecking out a tune while waiting for her to reemerge. He shivered at the sound of her retching and wondered if there was something he needed to be doing. He heard running water and Chloe’s loud groan moments before she appeared in the doorway.

She smiled that wide, sloppy grin she reserved just for him and wandered over to join him on the bench. Arms entwined around him, she leaned heavily into him.  It suddenly occurred to her that she had been running around most of the day. “Hey, why are you locking your door now? And since when do you have a lawyer?”

“Since my home was almost taken from me,” he murmured, playing a few notes before continuing. “I hired Ms. Sullivan to sort out various deals I’d made since I arrived on Earth.”

Chloe made a sleepy humming sound and undid a few buttons, so she could slide her hands into his shirt. He was playing _Halleluiah,_ Chloe realized, but in a slower tempo and with an obvious Lucifer flare.  

“As for the lock,” he drew out, finishing the song with a flourish. “I learned that I would be receiving an important package in a few months and didn’t want it wandering off.”

“What sort of package?” Chloe breathed against his throat, not quite grasping what he was saying, and peppered kisses down the length of his jaw. She stopped mid-kiss and drew back as realization washed over her. He knew.

“I suppose I’ll have to wait and see,” he insisted. He had tried his best glib tone but instead sounded hurt, perhaps even slightly angry. “Hopefully, it’s nothing that requires being placed in a basket and floated down a river. Moses was never quite the same afterward.”

Despite his careful sarcasm, Lucifer looked utterly crushed. Without thinking, Chloe grabbed his hand at the wrist just before he began to play again.

“I was going to tell you, I just…”

Lucifer brushed her off and rose from the bench in a single fluid movement. He went to the poured them both drinks, but then reconsidered and brought Chloe a seltzer water instead. “I had the lock installed early so people would become accustomed to not coming up here willy-nilly.”

He lifted the drink to his lips only pause and fall into a near panic at the sight of tears in the detective’s eyes. Did she not like seltzer water? Or perhaps he had erred. Admittedly, he was no expert on the subject, but the online search did confirm two things for him.  The first being that tiny humans were indeed parasites. He had always thought so, but it was nice to be backed up by Google. The second, and perhaps most distressing thing he learned was that pregnant women should not have alcohol.  But, surely the detective would know this. Former, and current, harborer of parasites such as she was. So, the tears must have some other cause.

“Am I not supposed to lock the child in? I seem to recall you doing such for the urchin, but that may have been for the safety of the populace at large given her—”

Before he could finish, he found himself on the receiving end of a bone-crushing hug. He awkwardly pat her back as she sobbed gracelessly into his shoulder.  

“No,” she croaked, and he cringed as she wiped her nose on his suit jacket but didn’t stop her. “Are you really okay with this?”

“You must be joking,” he murmured, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m terrified.”

Chloe sniffed and looked at him, eyes bright with tears. “Me too,” she swallowed, feeling slightly ashamed. “I was going to tell you. I was just afraid of how it would affect you and Trixie.”

“The urchin was a step ahead of you, my dear,” he said, wiping the tears from her lashes with his thumb. “She told me. Then, I spoke to my sister, who didn’t tell me, but did inform me of where I could locate those wonderful edible sex toys again.”

Chloe frowned, wrinkling her nose so that her nostrils flared. “How would Raziel know where to find edible sex toys?” She stopped in mid-thought, the answer suddenly occurring to her. “Right, because, she’s the Keeper of Secrets. Of course, she knows where to find cherry dildos.”

“Watermelon,” Lucifer corrected as if it was the entire point of her tirade. “But, I suppose I could find cherry if I had the mind.”

Chloe slipped her arms into his suit jacket and laid her head against his chest. She could hear the slow, steady rhythm of his heart. A heart that was designed to beat for eternity. “How am I going to tell Trixie?”

Lucifer frowned, wondering why Trixie needed to be told something she already knew and led Chloe to the sofa. He pulled her down with him, shifting her limbs so that she was cuddled up against him.

“Tell her the father is Mr. Garcia.”

Chloe twisted around to look at him, her elbows jabbing into his chest. “The mailman?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him,” the devil said with a shrug, and then grinned when he was assailed by her flailing hands. “Then again, she probably has him under surveillance.”

“Why would Trix…” Chloe began but then shook her head. Trixie and Lucifer had their thing. So long as both were happy, healthy, and most importantly not in prison, she’d leave it be. Suddenly, she was aware of how close they were. Cheeks burning, she scooted over until she was ontop of him, straddling his hips with her thighs. “Mr. Garcia, huh?” she whispered, her lips grazing his. “Why not Mr. Flores from down the hall? I borrowed a cup of sugar from him a few weeks a—go”

She squeaked as Lucifer pinched her bottom, and then kissed him fully hoping to steal the breath from his lungs. One of his hands slid into her hair as the other slipped under her shirt to skim the flesh above just above her jeans. “Is that so?” he asked as he reached up to unhook her bra. “I bet he doesn’t know how to do that thing with his toes that you like.”

Chloe smiled, her cheeks shining, and shook her head.

“Hm, didn’t think so,” Lucifer murmured against her throat, sliding his hands up to cup her breast. They had swelled just slightly over the last week. “Lovely.”

He rolled with her on the sofa so that she was beneath him. Then, slowly, tenderly, he made love to her as if she were the most impossibly precious thing in the universe. She cried out softly when she came, her orgasm rolling over her like a gentle, rippling wave. His hand slipped between them, exploring with feather light touches, as she slid her hands up his spine to where his wings sprouted from his back.

They had popped out when he first entered her. He hated that it still happened sometimes, but she loved it. Loved that he shared his truest self with her, however unwittingly, and loved him even if she couldn’t quite say it to his face.

He shuddered above her, his wings quivering, and buried his face into collarbone. He lay there limp there for several moments until his breathing evened out.  She pressed a kiss to the top of his head and slipped her hands into his down feathers. He wiggled just slightly and muttered something against her collarbone.

“Sorry,” she hummed, all floaty and warm, and if truth be told, ready for another round. “I didn’t quite hear that.”

His back arched just slightly, but he managed to lower his head enough to nuzzle her breast. “I said,” he purred, flicking his tongue over her nipple and sending shivers down her spine. “That tickles.”

Chloe giggled and squirmed against him, feeling him warm and ready against her thigh. Tremendous stamina indeed. “Poor widdle devil. Is he ticklish?” she mock pouted and then squeak a gasp when he suddenly entered her.

He was more demanding now, but no less gentle. He wrapped his limbs around her and rolled so that she rose above him. She laid her palms against his chest and he mirrored her, sliding his hands up to cup her breasts.

“So,” he murmured, his voice husky and eyelids hooded. “Is this where you slap your name on me and saddle me with a half-dozen mewling offspring?”

Chloe snorted and rocked her hips ever so slightly. “Naw, she murmured with a hissing breath, kissing him soundly. “I thought we could just live in sin.”

Lucifer reached up and grabbed her buttocks, thumbs digging into her hips. “And I was so looking forward to being Mr. Chloe Decker.”

Chloe laughed, rubbing her head against the sofa, and ran a finger down one of his flight feathers. “Your sister says it’s a girl.”

He stared at her thoughtfully for a long moment, and then his wings rippled beneath him. Suddenly, inexplicably, they were in his bed and he hovered above her, his wings wrapped around them like a feathery cocoon.

“We should name her Chloe,” he whispered between kisses. “Or Hennchata.”

Chloe made a little dismissive sound low in her throat and craned her neck to give him better access. “How about Sophia?”

He tipped his head down and kissed his way from her to her breastbone, then looked up at her from the pillow of her breasts. “That’s one of Raziel’s names.”

She gasped when his hand reached the place where his mouth would soon go. “We could call her Fifi for short.”

“That’s a dog’s name,” he reminded, swirling his tongue around her navel. “Decker for the middle name or Gimlet.”

 _Sophia Decker Morningstar,_ she thought, ignoring the obvious cocktail suggestion. She rolled the name around in her mind, almost feeling the way it would roll off her tongue.

“Okay,” she tried to whisper, but his mouth had finally reached his hand and she thought of other things.


End file.
